What gives me value

For a long time all I could do was watch movies especially through whom I took to be a mentor in Roger Ebert. I read a lot of his reviews and watched many of the films he at one time or another recommended. There were other critics I followed like Kaufman and Pauline Kael but principally I was an acolyte of Ebert but that eventually wore off some years ago before he died.

Now I seem to be an aficionado of Harold Bloom the noted literary critic. A year or two ago I got rid of my TV and turned my focus exclusively to books specifically classical literature. Perhaps I have bit off a little more than I can chew. Several times I have read several hundred pages of a novel only to quit halfway through because I lost interest. I recently read 200 fantastic pages of a book called Armadale by Wilkie Collins. But it abruptly shifted gears and ground to a halt. Similarly I had read some months ago Nicholas Nickleby the first couple hundred pages by the quite famous Charles Dickens supposedly a great writer and indeed I find much to like therein but at last it faded from interest. Are these novels uneven or do I just lose interest when I proceed through a book that is taking me a while to read. Harold Bloom can read 500 pages an hour. It takes me about 20 pages an hour so it is quite an investment of time and intellect. I guess what I am saying is I need to find a new hobby. I have been volunteering at various places and am well on my way to eventually working which is a good thing.

I read 8 to 10 books this year if you don’t count the many dips into various books I am always making. Considering I used to growing up read 36 to 40 books a year and the fact that I had a New Year’s Resolution to read 50 and I only read 10 or so is quite disappointing.

Sometimes and this may come from childhood I tend to feel I don’t have value because I am not as intellectually perfect as I want to be. I tend to feel I need to read a thousand pages an hour to have value and that is just not in the offering. It is incredibly frustrating and I know in the end my only hope is Jesus Christ because I am not perfect and a relationship with him is what determines my worth and ultimate salvation. So maybe I should be reading my Bible rather than all these other authors.

 

 

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What gives me value

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