So I have been thinking which might be kind of scary to those of you who think of me negatively who have listened to my blog. I have seen that I should think more positively however that may seem to be contradictory to us who believe or think that Christ is the only way to change our hearts truly. Positive thinking a la Norman Vincent Peale may be outdated as well as Tony Robbins or those of that changing your thinking kind. But the Bible does say be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind to know what the perfect will of God is.
So now when I have a thought or fantasy or kind of a daydream which are not appropriate I ask myself why and try to discern where they are coming from even if it is from a very dark place and that seems to kind of neutralize it. I question the Lord and my conscience though indeed to one degree or another it has been burned as the Bible says. I was going to be positive wasn’t I?
I know some people look at me and all they see is darkness. If that is so I suggest you not read my blog if all you can do is comment on your blog how dark you think I have become especially when it is in some surreptitious manner.
Anyway, I guess I must mean to be a grump since I started to write “I don’t wish to be a grump.” I don’t know if you have ever heard someone say “O I don’t mean to be rude but..” They if you think about it are probably meaning to be rude or whatever they are saying they don’t intend or mean to be. That comes from Carl Jung I believe. Since I also know that when we say something with a “not” attached we are really communicating the image of whatever we are saying not to do if it is tangible in some way. Like if someone says don’t think about elephants. What are we thinking about? Not mice right. Elephants.
I personally am trying to think of myself as a nice guy which most people off the internet think of me as being. I have never punched anyone except my brother once when I was young. I got whipped for that I’ll tell you and deserved it. I am not aggressive generally. Though I was obsessive at one time that has dispersed in the air like so much smoke from fire. There might be embers of course but I don’t let them get out of control anymore.
You know I am a good guy and I think of you all out there as probably having a good heart whether you think of me as negative or not. God bless anyone who has ever thought me a jerk and indeed especially if I had been. Please forgive me if I have hurt anyone’s feelings on the internet. Sometimes I say things on the internet that I wouldn’t say in normal life because of the distance between me and said people.
Even now I realize I need to ask myself why I need to be groveling before anyone on the web. Perhaps I am being overly analytical about myself. Maybe I am over characterizing myself and others. I can also see that perhaps I am having some insight about my paranoia which since I have been taking my psychotropic medicines if that is what they are called may actually be working for once. Probably I was sick mentally 90% of the time when I have gone off on someone which doesn’t happen as much as I make out probably. There are things in my imagination and my connection making mentality that take me on quite a wild ride sometimes.
Well, I guess to sum up like I said it is probably better to try to be positive whether it stems religiously or not. Without God it will be more difficult I believe. Just smiling is important in the everyday things that happen and learning from our mistakes which I did not mention here but find very beneficial. After all the Bible says A wise man will hear and increase learning. Ta.