I sit here on my checkered couch as my refrigerator quietly moans it’s dim, dismal wail off to my left in my small kitchen. My burgundy chair is in the direct path leading into the kitchen thereby leaving little space to get in by and before me is my notebook covered coffee table with also a purple fan which I am thinking about turning on because I don’t like listening to the fridge and the crickets outside. I did turn it on now. My head is starting to ache because of my wisdom teeth being pulled in the last week or two. Two book cases are to my right with books stacked pell-mell. One of two chairs my father bought me is facing the black book case at an odd angle beside the water heater closet door. In a very small passage beyond the space between the recliner and my coffee table are my bathroom and bedroom doors. Behind and to the left of the couch I am on is the door to the outside world which consists of a parking lot around which perch the houses of my neighbors.
I live in a small town on one of her less traveled streets. Like many a town she has her problems and blessings. There are a number of fast food places and restaurants which cater to me and my fellow denizens. When I get sick of McDonalds I go to Braums or Sonic or Dairy Queen or Subway or Taco Bell or Pizza Hut or etc. I am sure some of you would find my choice of fast food illuminating as to how backward my town really is and how unhealthy my diet might be. Anyway, I love fast food. I don’t spend a lot of money on it but some. I had heard a rumor that McDonalds was going to start serving all you can eat fries which would for me be like a great thing. How that would work I do not know.
Since I am starting to get hungry here at 4 in the morning because of talking about food I may have to cook DiGiorno here in a bit. I had earlier turned the stove on for the pizza and completely forgot about the DioGiorno which fortunately had not been put in yet because I was just preheating. All night I smelled this burnt smell and I was like so stupidly thinking what the heck could be burning. I wandered around my apartment smelling first the fan motor and the microwave. My stove if I was to imagine it had its own personality would have been like “Right here!” My cat was probably thinking “um, the stove maybe.” Lol.
Anyway, today I went on one of the few dates I have ever been on. Perhaps actually the first one where I asked the person. It went fine. I should have been nervous but was not. Of course I had been to a local pizza place on non-dates several times with this dear person. We went to the park and walked around. We ate at a nice steak house in town. Life can be fun sometimes even for us mentally recovering people.
I had read in a transhuman manifesto of sorts by one author that life is full of pain and we must get rid of pain that is why we must alter DNA. No one of course loves extreme pain which can only lead to death I suppose eventually. But some pain gives us character. Christians for instance are admonished to endure the race until the end because tribulation and pressure are a part of the experience of one’s life. I think there is much to be taken from Christianity and Christians are the best people I know. I would call myself one myself if I thought I was a good example of a worshiper of Christ Jesus. I do not as usual claim to be a good Christian person because I feel I have fallen from grace. But I still learn Bible verses and pray and rejoice with the truth.
At the steak house we went to they were playing gospel hymns on a piano. I found myself singing songs I had not thought of in 20 years. I miss the presence of my God in my life. I wish I could somehow invite him back in.