Very often my writing is selfish, meandering and one-dimensional especially due to the fact that my emotions largely dispersed in 1995. I don’t know if my limited readership will like what I think my purpose tentatively is but I think it is to draw a picture of depraved intellect and sickness in nondepraved terms which constitutes myself. You will lose your sanity, your morals and you will finally lose your life not just in this finite life but eternal life to be if you follow the same path I did. I do this with little talent but by simply exemplifying who I am without a lot of gratuitous detail. I have not always been honest in my life but I have been honest on this blog to a greater degree than most people would be willing to be. And so I try to let things seep through gradually insanity and madness around the edges. I am full of lust, hate and pride. I attempt to desperately and unsuccessfully overcome these limitations.
Who knows? Perhaps someday God will grant me repentance of heart if I try hard enough. But the reality is I have a hard heart. So far as I know I have never actually disbelieved in God. But self-deception is prevalent in my life so that may be where my true deceit is.