There is a shadow that plays like a harbinger in my life of things that are to be and there is a shadow also of the past that circumvents my life in everything I do. Can I see with clarity how to change myself and avoid an obliviousness of daydreams and fantasies that threaten to inundate all I am and take me into a lethargy of my broken death? For the past several years I have fought against the annual belief that this is the year I will meet my maker. I am not really suicidal although I have felt that way in the distant past, however I can say that the certainty of each successive year as being my swan song fades thankfully. I have always tended to guard against things happening by assuming if I could think about it before hand it would not happen. This is kind of making an assumption about God that is not pertinent.
So in review to clarify what I mean if it did not come across. What I often try to do is understand things before they happen so that they will not happen. Maybe that is why I obsess so much about Revelations. Trying to moderate God in this way is awfully presumptuous don’t you think.
My blogs are kind of rambling I have realized recently. I don’t have anywhere I am particularly going. I just follow where it takes me. Does anybody identify with what I have to say? Should I be more direct or goal-oriented in the way I go in these blogs? Does anybody have an opinion? Let me know what you think.