So even though I do think in ways that are probably neurotic I must turn over a new leaf and be empowered to stand up to my particular reality and say that is enough reality. I am tired of the games you play trying to mislead me and cause me paranoia. Can a psychotic stand up to his overlords and have victory? Can one bring down the strongholds of fear and disillusionment? Can one have victory over his demons? With people’s help I believe he can. Whether I am psychotic or a psychotic neurotic I honestly do not know. I must do my best in the given circumstances. I am confused about what my illness actually is. A lot of my problem stems from my evil human heart which is affected by the people around me to both a positive and a negative degree. God is one positive overlord I do not want to have victory over. I want him to have the victory over my life.
I am trying to find a job right now and I hope I can find the right niche for myself. I like writing my blog but there is no profit in it. If I could support myself in my blog I would but don’t know if I can put the required effort in or even if I possibly could make money in it.
I talk in kind of a nebulous fashion. I hope what I have to say is not a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing. If anyone finds anything profitable in what I have to say don’t be shy.