Daily Prompt from 12/31

If I could be anyone I would not be myself unless I went back to the age of 17 or so. That was before I developed personal problems like schizophrenia and obsessive-compulsive disorder and intense anxiety and paranoia and hearing voices. It was also before I fell away from God which is a very strong part of my identity in the past 20 years.

I suppose if I was to be someone else it would only be through emulation though. I would emulate people like my Dad though I would not want to be him because of his battle with MS which I would not be able to fight with as much determination and tenacity as he has. Though I recently developed lupus I may be in for something similar I don’t know.

My heroes though are people I would not necessarily want to be though some of their works I would like to have written. Like Coleridge, Melville, Keats, Mann, Dante, Shakespeare,etc. I don’t know about Shakespeare but the rest of them were unfulfilled in relationships in one way or another. I am not sure I want to have their problems like that because I have few friends as it is.

There is a technique that is called putting on heads where one supposedly can increase insight into problems through looking through the eyes of  one’s heroes which is from Win Wenger’s books on image streaming which I recommend. Anyway, I have never  too deeply delved into the technique just because it is unusual to me and I am not sure I want to try that hard to get what my mind has to offer being all wrong with imagery anyway because of my mental problems.

Many of the great minds began to seek to see how they would make a mark on the world when growing up and developed skills along the way which were notable. Schools used to teach things like poetry writing and scansion and things which they do not teach now as far as drills and latin and Greek etc. I guess what I am  saying is that I wish I would have been taught how to write poetry and prose by teachers who would have asked for a little more. Obviously perhaps I did not do too bad in that category because I can occasionally corral an okay sentence.

Don’t get me wrong I loved my English teachers mostly. Even the bad ones had good things in mind for me I think and just because one left me a little embarrassed for my reading selection I suppose I shouldn’t critique. One teacher chastised me for Where The Green Grass Grows by Louis L’amour which I chose for a book report. I wasn’t the only one who thought her a trifle strict over the years so I have heard.

Anyway, I have meandered with a mazy motion and I hope someone has gotten something out of this. I think I used to be a really worthwhile person before the dark times and I think I am remembered by some of my classmates as a stand-up type of guy. What have I done since then? I have my own blog which is not saying much; it does not take much to type. Well, I really need to lighten up. Happy belated New Year to everyone!

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Daily Prompt from 12/31

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