Helplessness

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Helpless.” When have I felt completely helpless? There were two incidents if I remember right instigated by the same person once in middle school and once in high school senior year. The first time was beside my science teacher’s classroom door  whose name was I think Ms. Moore and this guy named Tracy was harassing me and somehow managed to knock me out. According to eyewitnesses, I was lying prostrate and moaning apparently in some sort of seizure if that is possible. I woke with everyone staring at me and I was quite embarrassed. I kind of have had always had this theory that I woke during my operation to get tubes in my ears when small because of the torture exhibited in later comic books and this somehow triggered this middle school seizure. I don’t know if that is how the mind works but that has always been my theory.

The second time I met this irascible character was in senior year. He was always a muscular person who I only recall these two times in school life as though he were some demon sent from the Devil especially to bully me. He pressed me up against the lockers and tried to get my heart to stop according to some theory he had of his own. I felt absolutely alone against him but I would not resist so I prayed. I think these things happened to stir up my inner resilience and manhood.

Three times during my youth I was caught in the car door because I was a weak child I guess and got too close to where it opened and closed. These times were very daunting because I was always too quiet to really yell or scream. I have never in my life screamed or made much commotion. I have always quietly took it whatever it was. But I remember feeling extremely helpless like I was being punished. I recall that when I had to stand in the corner it was like adding to the injury not that I blame my parents for that. I probably deserved what I got.

But to be honest I am glad I responded the way I did. I would never hit a person now for any reason because that is just not right and if someone runs me over I am run over I guess. But I do reserve the right to protect my loved ones. I would hopefully yell and throw a fit if someone was in trouble. Please God may that be so.

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